Apparently..I'm a Woman-izer

  It's been a while, lone reader, I know. I neglect you---I treat you poorly. Which I apparently have done with several ladies in my life now. I say apparently, because from where I am sitting I know my intentions..my actions..my heart in all of this. Yet, I have put off bitching about this long enough..

  A ladies-man, a womanizer, a tease, a pimp, a player...whatever. I was reflecting back last night after a conversation with a female friend (shocking I know..but she is a female and I am a male and we are both heterosexual and not dating-just friends). I found myself getting legitimately pissed and offended, not by what she was sharing, but by the misconceptions over the last few years since I moved to Winter Park.

  **At this point in the discussion---it seems as though history would indicate for all of my female readership that I must clarify. If you are female and reading this...and you are not Kelly Pickler from American Idol or I haven't directly asked you out or expressed romantic feelings for you....I AM NOT going out with you, dating you, or interested in a romantic relationship.**

   Sorry for that minor diversion from the direction of this entry, yet apparently I must clarify to all those bra-sporting viewers out there (unless you're a man-bra wearer in which case I'm scared). Speaking of homosexuals, I apparently am attractive to gay men...does this indicate something about my sexuality? Probably not..but it freaks me out to have gay guys say to me, "hey there good-looking". Yuck..such confusion there. Now ending this ADD tangent and back to my original banter..

   So I had a female at Stetson who was apparently destined to marry me. She told me that God had spoken to her in a dream and that we were going to move back to Miami and start a family. She also envisioned me as an accountant (which would be nothing short of a mathematical miracle--considering I failed the dumbest college math class available). Then there was the freshman RA at Rollins who tried to seduce me in the handicap bathroom, can you say raunchy?  Moving on from there...the girl that sits me down at dinner and tells me I have been sending her mixed signals. The one who finally says to me "How long are you going to make a girl wait" and when I am totally clueless as to anything that she was thinking..she breaks down saying that I have been flirting and leading her on for months.

   Lastly, and probably most near and real to my heart is a confusing relationship that I accept my share of the responsibility in. The thing that hurts me so much about this..is that I genuinely cared for her. I connected with her on such a level that I can understand where the signals were mixed. Yet, I hate how that relationship just dies one day. It has been months since I have spoken to her. I miss her friendship, yet I don't feel I can initiate anything again for fear of continuing to hurt her. Beyond that, part of me is angry. Angry that I hear things from people that are far from the truth. Angry-that the conversations between the two of us are different from the conversations about the two of us. At the end of day, I do respect and miss her and would love to maintain a healthy friendship, but my head overrules my heart. The telephone is a 2-way device that I will gladly answer and pick up where we left off.

  So am I a tease? Is there something wrong with the way I live my life...with my character. The irony, on my end, is that the dating relationships I have been involved with in the past---my intentions have been clear. I do and always will speak my mind because I believe that's why we have one. The high school relationships...and the only 2 legitimate people I have dated in Winter Park, know what those relationships were, as do I. At the end of the day, I answer to my character and face judgment in Him and Him alone. (**Miss, I do not like you like that, or that, we are just friends**) The previous disclaimer is apparently necessary..always. Peace<><

Comments

[MercyNow]

I can't believe that you're such a tease and break so many hearts. Relationship is hard enough but becomes exponentially complicated when it's between guys & gals. The short answer to your question is you can hang out with a gal as long or much as you want until you specifically tell her that you're interested in her. By hanging out doesn't mean taking her out to nice dinners, sending her flowers, or singing romantic songs to her.

I had an instance when I hadn't spoken to a female friend for awhile and then I asked her how's she's doing and her first line was she's dating someone. My thought was, uhm psychologically handicapped, but atleast she didn't tell me that I was destined to marry her:o)

[MercyNow]

To clarify the last paragraph in my previous comment, she said she was taken b/c she thought that I was interested in her by talking to her. Going with that logic, I guess I can't talk to any females unless I'm interested in her in a romantic way, again PSYCHO!