People have a way of coming into and leaving my life..perhaps in many ways I am responsible; yet I think it's a combination of my life and a call God has placed on my heart- a side effect of youth ministry--the transitional aspect--the turnover. I'm tired of being a hired gun. ~First Pres NPB, FCA, Young Life, First Pres Maitland, WyldLife, Orangewood, Lake Baldwin~ all in less than 3 years. So many people have come into my life and fought for a place in my heart..people that I love and have not forgotten. Yet, as I move on to new places and ministries, I inevitably lose touch. I m i s s them. I miss my Palm Beach friends and the kids I used as guinea pigs for ministry, I miss "my" old WydLife kids--especially my now 8th grade boys--tremendously. I miss the students and families of Orangewood a lot (something that still doesn't sit well with me). I even find myself wishing I could keep tabs on kids I have met speaking at different camps and retreats that have shared their hearts with me. I can't. There will always be that kid to reach..that relationship that fades. I need to come to terms and be at peace with this.
I find myself staring down the barrel of my 21st birthday Tuesday..and I'm not old. I can't claim to feel old, but I will say that I feel life flying by. It (forgive the old timer flavor of this) "seems like only yesterday" I was a "kid"...
I dream. A lot. I have big plans. I want to change -the world..maybe I will, maybe I have? I yearn to please God. I long for stability and longevity in places.
What's going on these days: Youth ministry and fellowship with the church plant. Internship with real estate/insurance firm. College. Speaking at camps/retreats. Leading the freshmen small group. World Promotional Services sales. Stuff I'm forgetting...
OK enough..If you're reading this, know that you mean a lot to me even though I don't express it (unless of course you're some random reader/stalker in which case I'm a little weirded out)<><
I totally know how this feels, man. I have to keep reminding myself that these ultimately are God's kids, not mine, and that He can still nurish them much better than I can. It's really quite humbling.
Posted by: Tim | March 20, 2006 at 11:07 AM
I am one of those stalkers!
Posted by: Schue | March 21, 2006 at 10:22 AM
Matt, I'm that random guy surfing the blog and decided to stalk you, jk. I'm sorry things didn't work out for you at OPC but you're still a cool guy in my book.
TranMan:o)
Posted by: Stalker | March 21, 2006 at 11:03 PM